I’m that girl… you know.. the one that enjoys going to lunch alone and sitting in a corner booth reading/writing… yes… “that” girl. Quiet time is not something I get much of in my normal everyday and alone time is even more rare. You learn to develop these quiet spaces of time where you can be alone with your thoughts and just refuel with God. Lately even these moments have become few and far between and it is easy to see how quickly the days of life will empty you. Today as I left to have some much needed quiet time I realized an even deeper truth about being the girl in the corner booth. You see I LOVE people.. I mean seriously… I absolutely positively LOVE people.. every single one.. No exceptions. The problem with this part of me is it has led to a lot of rejection and hurt in my life. Relationships where I haven’t measured up or where I have completely hurt someone else to the core fill much of my past. Both of these situations have caused me to isolate myself from others. Maybe you understand. Maybe you’ve been hurt.. maybe you’ve been reckless with the hearts of others and caused hurt. And maybe you too find yourself somehow isolated.. sitting in a corner booth riding out life with surface level relationships or maybe even no relationships at all. And you find yourself craving more.. something different. You’re not alone in that desire. The world is full of people just like this.. lonely but scared to be vulnerable in their relationships. Maybe they have many people they call friends but at the end of they day they wonder who would really be there when they truly needed something that required personal sacrifice.
Today as I sit enjoying my corner booth time, my heart is that I still love these moments.. I still absolutely enjoy just being still and quiet by myself sometimes. But.. today I also see the moments in the last few months where relationships have been planted. Most are just a seed in the ground being watered with small hellos or 5 minutes of listening or sometimes even just a smile. Others require going back to tend the soil and reviving what was maybe hidden under the surface of the ground waiting for a new season. The hard truth about planting seeds is there is often quite a gap in time between the planting/fertilizing and the visible results of the seed growing. So I continue to water. I continue to tend the ground where the seed is planted. I pray for grace from God to be better in my relationships now than I used to be. I still seek out my corner booth moments.
Original Post: 11.14.2014
A Girl and Her God 