Sometimes I struggle with the thought that I may not matter.. that I am replaceable, especially considering how inconsistent my walk has been with God.. God is BIG and can accomplish all He needs with out me, and it’s hard to accept that I really matter to Him. Today God reminded me of Jonah. Of a man that literally ran from what God asked him to do. Yet God continued to pursue him. He pursued Jonah all the way to the bottom of the ocean in the belly of a whale to get Jonah to walk out the plans God had for him. God could have chosen someone else. He could have left Jonah in the belly of that whale to suffer.. but instead God used the whale to carry Jonah right back to where he needed to be so he could do God’s will.
Ok.. God has a plan.. So now what you ask? Move. Act. Obey. The difference between today and tomorrow is ONLY achieved by ACTION. It’s choosing to walk over that narrow bridge we all must cross in order to get to the place God wants to take us. Yet the comfort of the familiar – regardless of how messy or miserable – calls. The comfort of knowing what the days entail and what battles will come still pull and try to distract. But we know this mediocre life is not enough. And for me, I hear a whisper saying “baby girl you matter “. And God reminds me that He has a plan so specific to me that He wants me to live out for Him and He’s not going to give up on me. No. God doesn’t “NEED” me.. be He wants me. He wants to use me as a vessel to show Himself to others.. and maybe.. just maybe He’s not going to give up on me until what He wants is accomplished through me and in me. Even if it means being in the belly of a whale until I get my mind made up to do WHATEVER HE asks of me.
My heart, my soul: they don’t let me rest because there’s too much at stake. My heart knows that generations can change if I just obey.. and if I don’t.. generations can still change.. but I’ll miss out of God. At the end of the day, God WILL accomplish his purpose.. and that in itself is enough to push me to choose. I want my life on this planet to matter in eternity.. not because I matter.. but because GOD matters. Because HE is worth it. Because He gave everything to set me free and keep me from eternal death, and He deserves all of me in return. And so I choose to come back for more of Him.
My prayer tonight is that you will see how much YOU matter. That no matter where you are in your walk with God, you will realize He has a plan for you. My prayer is that you are encouraged to know you are not alone. My prayer is that God will stir your soul to want more of Him. My prayer is that you become restless.
It’s not too late… He’s waiting.. Let’s go meet with Him
From my heart to yours,
April
Original Post: 10.09.2014
A Girl and Her God 